Unfinished Story From 2005

He walks out and puts his hand over his eyes to stop the sun from blinding him. The alcohol hasn’t left his system yet and he could feel the hard strain in his bloodshot eyes as they tried to adjust to the bright sunlight. He could feel that his face was pale and he knew that he probably looked like complete shit. It always would take awhile for the alcohol to leave his system, after it left he usually regained his complexion and began to look like a normal human being.
He rolled his pants legs up a little bit and began to walk down to the water. He could see a couple of the local kids to his right playing in the sand, they just always looked so happy, he thought that he probably used to be like that until he finally grew up and realized that life was just one shit storm after another. He used to be innocent, young and not scared of anything; whatever life gave him he used to take and learn how to deal with it, but nowadays he was just too tired and just rolled with the punches. The never-ending card game that he played with life continued as always, and his bluff just never seemed to work anymore.
He walked into the water to where his ankles were fully covered in the water. The water was a little bit cooler today, but not too cool to where he wouldn’t want to go in later and try his luck with the fishing pole. He strolled back to the shore and sat down and watched the incoming tide come in and exit in a beautiful motion. He sat there and wondered how life was going for everyone back up in America. He was happy here just living his life but he always wondered how the life he had left was doing over there, if anyone even noticed that he was gone.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Camel Lights and lit one up as he continued to look out into the ocean. The local kids were in the water now, throwing a Frisbee around, wading out to where all you could see was the top of their heads and their pearly white teeth glowing every time they smiled. He heard the voice of an older man yell at the boys, telling them that they were too far out. The boys continued to laugh and throw the Frisbee around as the older man continued to walk towards them.
He thought of when he was younger and he and his brothers would play in the ocean like that. They would always come with a football or a soccer ball and play so reckless on the sand, like they simply didn’t give a shit about anything. He remembered how his dad would yell at them like that when they tread ed out too far. He kinda missed that security. There was nobody here to keep him in check, nobody here to let him know when he was in danger. He hadn’t hit it bad, but he knew that someday his recklessness would catch up to him if he didn’t slow down.
The boys were coming back to the shore as the man walked them back up to their mother, behind them telling them to be more careful next time and to dry off cause they were leaving. He finished his cigarette and buried it in the sand, stood up and brushed the sand off of his pants, turned around and walked back up to his little shanty off the road on the beach.

~

The house wasn’t much and the rent on it wasn’t much either. It was simply a two bedroom hut with a tin roof on top of it. There were a couple of palm trees around the small porch where a hammock was tied between them. In the evenings after work he would make a drink and lay on the hammock and watch the sun set off in the distance. The beautiful oranges and red in the sky when the sun was setting was enough satisfaction to let him know that somehow he had made the right decision in leaving home and trying to find himself.
He walked up on the deck and brushed the sand off his feet. He opened the door and walked inside to his living room. The bamboo shades were drawn shut but there was still a little sunlight peaking through them. The ceiling fan was turning slow and the TV was left on from last night. The coffee table was covered with junk; beer bottles, papers and a laptop were all on top of it. He knew it was time to clean up, but whenever he thought about it, it made him tired and he lost all interest about it.
He started to walk to the kitchen, the way his stomach was feeling he knew that he needed a drink to help clear up this hangover. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a Corona, a bottle of clamato juice and an egg. He found the cleanest glass that he could find and poured all but a couple of sips of the beer into the glass. He then topped it off with some clamato juice and cracked the egg on the slide of the glass. Dropping the egg into the glass his stomach began to turn, but he knew that this was the only way to make him feel better. He opened up a Goodies powder, dropped the powdered Aspirin on the back of his tongue and chugged the drink down.
“Goddammit,” he yelled as he finished chugging the drink down.
His stomach was turning a little bit, but he knew that soon the drink would take form and he would feel a little bit better. He went to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. Looking at the fan turning on the ceiling he twisted his index finger around one of his brown, curly locks. He had taken a job as a writer for one of the papers here on the island and he knew that sometime today he would have to make a visit in there to see what he was going to write about next. Laying on the bed made him feel better, but the bed was beginning to turn a little bit now, so with all the energy he could muster he stood up and walked to the shower.
He began to undress as he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were a fiery red from the late night and all the drinks he had in him. His face was beginning to show some signs of color, but the bags under his eyes were dropping a mile down his face. He quit looking at himself and got in the shower. He turned the water on and the steam from the heat began to fill up the little bathroom. He dropped his head down so the hot water would beat down on his neck with his arms up on the shower wall. It almost looked like he was being searched by a cop with his arms up on the police car. Turning his neck around he could feel it pop as he turned it from side to side. He washed his hair and washed his body with some Aloe Vera soap that he liked to use. He stayed in there for about an half hour and when he began to feel like he was regaining his energy, he stepped out and grabbed one of his towels.
The towels were huge, they were called sheet towels at the store that he had bought them at. He wrapped one around his waste and grabbed another one and draped it around his shoulders. He walked back to the kitchen and made another Red Eye and walked out to his front porch. He stood outside on his deck with nothing but the towels on and leaned against the railing looking out to the ocean. He took a sip from the glass and watched the waves crash on the cocaine white sand that surrounded his house. The breeze coming off the ocean was shaking the palm trees a little bit, and he felt that later on it might rain. He continued to drink the Red Eye as a group of kids began to gather on the beach and organize a pick up soccer game on the sand. He sat down on one of the chairs out there and watched as the kids put on a skill clinic in front of his hut. Nothing like good entertainment to get the day going, he thought, almost like waking up and watching the morning news just to catch the sport highlights from the night before.

~

After the game was over and the kids went their separate ways, he gathered himself and walked inside to get dressed. He grabbed a madras shirt that was hanging in his closet and some khakis that were on the back of the chair by his desk. He put the clothes on and grabbed a pair of his Rainbow sandals and walked out to the living room. He scrambled around the mess on the coffee table to find his keys, seeing that they were not there he walked to the kitchen and found them laying next to a half-dozen empty Corona bottles. He picked them up and put his sunglasses on, then stepped outside to his 1974 Ford Bronco and hopped in the driver’s seat.
He backed the car up then drove on the main road heading into town. The scene was so beautiful driving into town, palm trees lined up with the ocean on your right for most of the way there, it often reminded him of visiting family in Florida and taking his Jeep and driving up and down A1A when he was younger trying to find all the best drinking and fishing holes he could. There were some houses spread out on his left, some were very lavish and he knew that people with money lived there, others were not in such great shape and made his shack look like a mansion. It was this diversity that made him laugh, only here on this island would multi-billionaires build eight bedroom houses next to a bait fisherman. What a place, he thought to himself.
The Red Eye had fully kicked in and he was beginning to get hungry. There was this little restaurant that was a few miles up the road that over looked the ocean. It belonged to the old Irishman, Ian and his French wife, Chloe. The restaurant was one of his favorite places to go because of the cafe and island feel it had running up and down the walls. There where those cafe paintings that you usually see in high dollar restaurants, mostly advertising some kind of cognac or Armagnac, but it still had that tropic feel to it. Whatever it was, there was just something in that place that reminded him of Charleston, and when he used to live there with his friends after college.
He drove a few more miles up the road and pulled into the parking lot of Le Mistral, where he would be having his lunch. The parking lot only had a few cars parked there, so he knew that he would be able to get his favorite table, a small table with two chairs that was on the back patio, overlooking the ocean. He stepped out of the Bronco and lit up a Cheroot, they would never let him smoke his regular cigars in there, but they allowed the Cheroots because of the nice aroma it put out as he smoked it.
“Il y a mon garçon de bébé,” Chloe said as he walked in. She got out of the bar stool she was in and came running up to him.
“Hey sweetie,” he said as he put his arm around her, “How the hell have you been?”
“That is not the question you need to be asking,” she replied in her English with a French accent voice, “The question is where have you been the last few weeks?”
“Just been hanging around, doing some work,” he said, “The paper had me doing an article about the new hotel being built on the other side of the island, and I have been staying over there a few nights out of the week.”
“And what about last night?” she asked, “Ian went out to the marina this morning and heard that you were out there all night, drinking until the wee hours of the morning.”
“Yeah, you know how I usually am after I get done writing a story, I mean, they come and go, nothing steady so I always get some time for myself afterwards,” he said as he took a long drag from his Cheroot.
“Mmhmm,” Chloe replied, “I understand, what you need is to find one of these island girls and make them an sincere feminin.”
“You can’t make any of these girls honest,” he replied, “And besides, the only one that is honest is already taken, and I am heartbroken that I met her too late in life.”
He winked at her and Chloe just laughed and hit him on the chest.
“Well, I did just get some prawns in,” she said as she finally stopped giggling at him, “vous m'aiment-il les faire cuire l'amour ?”
“Yeah, I am going to sit down outside, just cook them up any way you want to,” he replied, “And bring me something to drink please.”
“I will make you the usual, one dark and stormy coming up,” Chloe said.
“You know me way too well,” he said, “Sure, that will be good.”
She turned around and walked to the kitchen. He walked outside and took his usual seat at the table, the one over looking the ocean. There was a couple sitting a few tables next to him and he made eye contact with the man sitting there. He pointed to his Cheroot, asking without asking the man if it was OK with them if he smoked. The guy shook his head and putting his hand up, showing that he didn’t mind at all if he smoked. He took another drag off of his Cheroot and laid back into the chair.
The tide was going out now, and he knew that if he wanted to go fishing it would probably have to wait for tomorrow. He looked down at his watch, the time showed that it was almost two, he could just take his time and eat, because even though most of the writers and other staff members left at five, there was always someone there who would be around writing or putting the final touches for the next day’s paper. The waitress came around and put his drink in front of him, smiled and walked back inside. He took the lime from the rim of the glass, squeezed the juices into the drink and licked his finger as he dropped it in the drink. He took a sip and continued to look out in the sky blue water.
The conversation he had with Chloe still reverberated in the back of his mind. He hadn’t really been interested in anyone in a long time, and he still wasn’t sure if now was a good time to have someone in his life. After all that he left behind in America, he was still trying to figure out his life and all the reasons why he had came here. Bringing in a girl now wouldn’t be fair to her since he had not been with anyone in while, he wouldn’t know how to adjust his life to fit that of a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to him either, he knew why he had left, but he kept that to himself and was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do now that he was here, figure out if writing was the career move that he wanted.


~

He remembered the first time that he had fallen in and out of love, the time when his heart first leaped out of his chest and went into the hands of another. He had seen her at a few parties when he was a freshman in college, and the first time that he had seen her he knew that she would be the one. He begged one of his friends to introduce them, and he had rehearsed the first conversation a million times in his head, but when their eyes first met, he lost all control and confidence and simply froze. She just smiled at him and turned around, not knowing what to do he felt a euphoria come over him and he went after her.
“Hey,” he said as he reached for her arm, “My name is Ethan, Ethan Callahan, sorry about that back there, its just…”
“Just what?” she asked as she turned around to look at him.
He saw her eyes, the first time he had seen eyes so beautiful, they were a hazel complexion with a slight tint of blue in them.
“Just that I was a little bit nervous,” he said looking at her and then back at the ground, “I have never been good with the introduction thing, never been good at what to say at the right time.”
“You should work on that,” she said smiling at him, “But I gotta go to class right now, if you want to talk later on, you should be able to find my number…”
She turned around and walked away from him. He stood there holding his books and watching her walk off into the distance, damn, he thought to himself, what a girl.
He waited a day or so and found the nerve to call her, he had gotten her number through the campus telephone directory, but when she asked he just told her he had gotten it from a friend. That was the first lie that he had told her, and for some reason it wouldn’t be the last. They were inseparable at first, things came up in the first couple of years that would’ve tried anybody’s relationship, but somehow she stayed loyal to him. He failed out of college his first year and his dad made him come back home to work and prove to him that he could handle life. That was the worst thing that could’ve happened to him.
His confidence had grown since he graduated high school, and through dating her he found a confidence that he could approach any girl anywhere and after a couple of times of talking to each other they would fall for him. At first it was a game to him, to see how far he could take it without anything happening between them. Sometimes the game would go to far and they would kiss, but he would always cut it off after that, never letting it get too far. After awhile, he would forget about her when he went out and began finding himself in unfamiliar beds and apartments.
This was the first time where his drinking would become a problem. He wasn’t in class anymore, all he did was wait tables at night and go out to the local pub and drink until four in the morning. He could sleep until lunchtime, wake up, take a shower and grab some lunch then go to work for the next couple of hours. This was an easy life, he thought to himself, just keep making some bucks to show the old man that you can handle it, that’s all you gotta do. He would take a few days off every now and again to see her, and she would sometimes come and see him, but other than that it was a free-for-all when it came to the ladies, if he didn’t get them his brother would, so everyman for himself he thought.
It wasn’t what he wanted, but he was getting more and more attention than he knew what do to with. She was faithful to him while she was two hours away from him, or at least that is what his friends told him, and somehow he knew that it was true…but something was stopping him from being so faithful to her. He cheated on her eight times in eight months, his father allowed him to go back to school the following year, and everything went back to the way it used to be, and he never thought about cheating on her again…until he felt that one urge again, and then he crossed that line.


~

“Here you go sweetie,” the waitress said as she placed his drink in front of him.
He shook his head and came back to reality, he was alone on an island, sitting in front of a cafe where he felt loved, but he knew that he was still missing something. He took a sip of his drink and told the waitress thanks. She said that the prawns would be out in a little bit, and she would bring some cheese out for him to snack on until Chloe finished cooking the prawns. He declined and took another sip of his drink, he had waited for this meal for awhile now and he didn’t want anything to ruin it.
The bite from the ginger beer and the smoothness of the rum created a paradise in his mouth, he had never had one of these until he came here, once a bourbon and scotch man, this was quickly becoming his favorite drink. The couple he was sharing the view with was beginning to finish their lunch, he noticed the man signaling the waitress from the corner of his eye as he continued to look out into the horizon. He hadn’t thought of her in sometime now and he wasn’t really sure what made her appear today. He took another sip of his drink as the waves crashed onto the shore, the smell of the salt water and the palm trees helped ease his mind, and he began to forget about her, just like she had moved on with her life and forgot about him.
“And here is your lunch,” the waitress said to him as she laid a plate of boiled prawns in front of him with a bowl of fresh greens.
“Thanks,” he said as he looked up at her.
The sun was beginning to peak through the awning that covered the porch and it was reflecting off of her face. She was a younger girl, probably no older than eighteen, and the sun was showing the baby blue of her pupils. Her skin was fair, he could tell that somewhere in her lineage there was some Irish in her. She smiled and walked away. He picked up the lemon wedge on the side of the plate and squeezed it over the prawns and the greens, he splashed a little bit of vinegar on the greens and began to eat his lunch. The thoughts of his life back home would enter his mind and leave like a flash of lightning, only there for a flash then gone again.
Chloe came outside and stood behind him. She began to slowly rub his shoulders as he took a sip of his drink.
“Il sera correct mon amour,” she whispered as he put the drink down, “Nobody knows what this life will bring us, but you are a sweet boy and you will be happy soon.”
He raised his head to look up at her as she looked down on him, she kissed him on the forehead and walked away. She was right he thought as he picked up one of the prawns with his fork and put it in his mouth. Things will eventually work out for us all, he thought, somehow I will be happy because there has to be something better for me out there. He popped another prawn in his mouth and switched his view from the plate below him to the continous crash of the waves on the beach.
The waitress brought him another drink as he finished up his lunch. He pulled another Cheroot out of the pouch he carried them in and lit it up. Nothing like a little tobacco in the system after a big meal, the tobacco and the drink would help ease the digestion going on in his stomach. He sat down for a little bit longer and then stood up and walked to the bar inside to pay his tab. He said goodbye to Chloe as she stood there and watched him walk out. He let the door shut behind him and he got into his Bronco.
“I only hope the best for him,” Chloe said to the bartender as she walked back to the kitchen, “If that boy doesn’t find love soon, he will be lost forever.”

~

He pulled the Bronco into the parking lot next to the building where the paper was published. It was a rundowned, old brick building that had been on this island for a long time, it had seen many of storms and hurricanes and its foundation was as strong as an old oak tree. It was the safest place to be in the middle of a storm due to the lack of windows it had. When it was built there was no such thing as air conditioning, and the few windows it did have all had units attached to them to help cool the place down.
He stepped out and threw the Cheroot on the ground and stepped on it with his sandal. He took a look up at the four story building and wondered if it was really even worth going in. At the very least maybe there was an email or a telegram from his parents waiting for him. He had a phone at his house, but told them that he didn’t because he didn’t want to deal with them on the phone, emails and telegrams are just easier to deal with, no crying or people asking a million questions, wasn’t that the main reason why he left anyway?
He opened the door and it gave an eerie squeak as it shut behind him. He walked the four flights of stairs and stood in front of the door to the office. The grime on the glass of the door was as thick as fog blowing into the San Francisco bay, years of dirt and smoke had built up on it and it revealed really how depressing the paper was. They wrote about and printed stories that were of the least importance considering anyone on the island that cared about world events usually bought a New York Times or a Wall Street Journal. The major events always required a reporter who was in the field, and since the paper could barely afford to keep the staff they had here, they surely couldn’t send one to Iraq or Africa were all the major events of the time were happening, and you defiantly couldn’t find one who was that committed.
He opened the door as the smell of stale cigarette smoke and coffee slapped him in the face. His stomach was getting queasy again as he looked to see who all was here.
“Callahan, bright eye get your ass over here,” a voice shouted from across the room.
He looked over to where Nick was sitting at his desk. He had his tie tied loosely around his neck and was smoking a cigarette.
“Whats going on Nick,” he said as he sat down in the chair in front of the desk.
“Nothing much,” he replied as he shook Ethan’s hand and took another drag off the cigarette, “Feel like doing an interview?”
“You know I am not up to interviews,” he said shaking his head, “I just hate all the preparing and thinking of the right questions to ask.”
“Come on,” Nick begged him, “Everyone is busy doing their assignments and I just need you to follow this one guy around and ask him a few questions, that all brother.”
Ethan sat there for a minute and weighed out his options. It had been awhile since he had written anything that had gotten published and he knew that with an interview it would be in the paper and he would get some quick cash.
“Who and what’s the story about?” he asked Nick as he grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the desk and put one in his mouth.
“That’s my boy,” Nick said as he reached his lighter over to Ethan.
“I am not agreeing on anything yet,” Ethan said as he lit the cigarette, “Just want to know what the story is about.”
“Its nothing much,” Nick said as he put his cigarette out in the ashtray, “Just a simple piece about this guy named Chaz. He was into the wine and liquor business pretty heavy awhile back, now he is trying to help out the city and get some finances going to start up this art museum he is interested in.”
“So all I have to do is follow this guy around, take a few pictures and ask a few detailed questions and that’s it?”
“Pretty much,” Nick replied as he opened up his desk drawer and pulled out a flask, “Want a hit?”
Ethan reached over and grabbed the flask. He opened it up and put his head down to see what kind of poison Nick was sipping on today. The smell of Kentucky Bourbon went up his nose and he smiled.
“Reminds me of summer’s back home,” he began to tell Nick, “Horse races and mint juleps being passed around, nothing like good old southern bourbon to remind someone of their roots.”
He took a swig of the bourbon and another drag off the cigarette.
“So this guy’s name is Chaz, sounds like a fairy to me,” Ethan said as he took another sip.
“Far from it my little boy,” Nick said as he took his flask back and took a sip for himself, “He is a pretty big dude, and he knows anything there is about alcohol; beer, wine, liquor…whatever it is he knows it. I am not sure if his family were bootleggers on here before we mainlanders got here, but was a family owned business for years, then he got married and had a few children and now he is out of it.
“He sold every last bit of his company and now mainly lives on starting up new business and selling them right before they get going…its all profit for him after he gets back the costs, then he sells them for bigger dollars.”
“Sounds like we have a real life player on our hands here, a regular tycoon, are you sure that I am up for this?”
“You asked me to get you some other things to write about,” Nick said, “I guess somewhere deep inside of you there is a journalist, and I guess this is something easy for you to get your feet wet with.”
“Alright,” Ethan said, “I guess I will take it, but you gotta help me out with this, you gotta be with me every step of the way.”
“Ahh, bright eye,” Nick said as he lit up another cigarette, “You know I won’t leave you out there to die. Now let me finish up some work, I will meet you at your house around eight and then I will take you out for a little bit…my treat.”
“Alright,” Ethan said, “I am game…see you in a little bit.”
He stood up and walked back to the door. Finally, he thought, got something new to do, something to get a little cash back in the wallet. He opened the door and walked down the stairs and went out the double doors exiting the building. He hopped back into the Bronco and began the journey back to the shack, he could fish a little bit and then take a nap until Nick got there, he didn’t know what Nick had in store for the night, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a little fucked up before he became a serious journalist.


~

He looked down at Nick’s hands and put a towel on them to help stop the bleeding.
“I didn’t mean to do it,” Nick said trembling, his voice was cold and scared, “He provoked me, I just didn’t want to do it.”
Ethan squatted down and wrapped the towel around his right hand, the one that was badly bruised and bleeding violently.
“I know you didn’t man…it was his fault,” Ethan said softly to help calm down his friend, “It was out of your control.”
Nick held his wrapped hand in the other as Ethan got up to fix a drink. He walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle rum.
“Fix me one too,” Nick said from the living room.
He grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet and rinsed them off. He opened one of the cabinet doors below the counter and pulled out one of his old pots. He filled it with water and got some ice cube trays out of the freezer. Putting some of the ice in the glasses and the rest in the pot, he then filled up the glasses with some Bacardi 8 and grabbed some lime juice out of the fridge.
“Put your hand in this,” he said to Nick as he handed him the pot and put the glasses on the coffee table.
“Thanks,” Nick replied as he put his right hand in the ice water and reached over with his other hand and picked up the rum. He took a long sip and laid down on the couch, one hand in the water and the other holding the drink on his chest.
Ethan, sitting on a chair on the other end of the coffee table, pulled out a bag from his pocket and some rolling papers from under the cushion.
“Want any?” he asked.
Nick lifted his head up off the couch to see what he was asking about.
“No thanks,” he replied as he took another hard sip from the glass, “This rum is good enough for me.”
Ethan pulled out a little bit of the weed from the bag and sprinkled it over the rolling paper. He put enough in there to help ease the tension from the long night that they had just encountered. He rolled it up and licked the end of paper that had the glue on it to keep it in place. He took a sip from the glass and proceeded to light up the joint. He leaned back in the chair and took another drag off of the joint and another sip of rum.
“What a fucked up night,” he said to Nick, “All I remember is bits and pieces of what happened, still can’t believe the nerve of that prick, what a fucking lush.”
“He has always been like that,” Nick replied, “Just can’t believe I let him get that first cheap shot in, must be slipping in my old age.”
“Fuck him,” Ethan said, “You did beat the shit out of him though, there is no denying that, sorry about your hand.”
“It will be ok,” Nick said taking another long sip of rum, “I don’t have any assignments coming up soon, I will just have to help you out more with your story until my hand gets better.”
They said there in silence for a minute, the windows were open and the sound of the beach sent a calm throughout the house. Both men just sat there trying to sort out what had happened that night, both trying to find answers to drama that had kept reoccurring in the last few weeks. It seemed that every time they had gone out something had happened to affect their lives, mainly with Nick but now it seemed as if Ethan’s life was becoming affected too, he didn’t mind it because Nick was a good friend of his, but the drama was one of the main reasons why he had left in the first place.
Nick was slowly starting to fall asleep as Ethan placed the roach from the joint in the ashtray.
“You going to be ok?” he asked Nick as he stood up from the chair.
“Yeah, just going to lay here for a minute and then go to sleep,” he replied, “You don’t mind me staying here?”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way buddy,” he said as he walked towards his bedroom, “My casa is your casa…see you in the morning.”
“Later man,” Nick said.
“Later.”
He shut the bedroom door behind him as he walked over to his closet. He opened it up and began to take his clothes off, starting with the shirt and then taking off his pants. He threw the clothes in a hamper on the floor of his closet. He walked over to the bed and plopped down hard on it. His heart was still beating a little fast as he laid his head down on the pillows. The breeze coming in from the ocean was cool tonight as he heard the palm trees rustling outside. The light from the moon was peaking in through the window as it finally dawned on him that it was a full one tonight, maybe that could explain some of the chaos that had happened only hours ago.
Nick had showed up at his house at eight just like he said he was going to do. He was wearing the usual attire, a Cuban shirt, linen pants and some sandals, and Ethan was wearing his usual attire, Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals on as well.
“You ready?” Nick said as he walked in the house.
Ethan was laying on the couch, drinking a beer and taking a hit off of the bowl.
“You know it,” he replied.
“Think you are smoking too much,” Nick said as he grabbed the bowl from Ethan and took a hit also.
“Yea, yea, yea,” Ethan replied laughing, “You got room to talk.”
Nick put the bowl down and took a sip of beer.
“Got a big night planned,” he said as he sat down in the chair, “A nice dinner and some drinks, then we are going to a party at the Marina…a lot of boats are docked tonight and it should be a hell of a time.”
“Sounds good,” Ethan said as he stood up and stretched, “Where are we eating at?”
“The bistro,” Nick replied, “There is a great jazz band playing there tonight, it should be fun.”
“Cool,” Ethan said as he grabbed his car keys, “Lets go.”
They hopped into the Bronco and drove underneath the tropical stars and moon, a cool breeze was blowing through their hair as they drove with the top down. He pulled the car into parking lot of the Bistro, a small upscale restaurant that specialized in European foods. They walked into the establishment and was greeted by the host who walked them to a small table in the corner. They had made this one of their favorite places to come in and eat, somehow Ethan felt like he was a made man in the Mafia every time he came here. The artwork was dark just like the place itself, with a blanket of smoke covering over the entire area.
“I hope this band is good tonight,” Nick said as he pulled out a couple of Cubans from his leather cigar holder.
He handed on to Ethan as he bit the end off of his cigar. Ethan did the same then looked at the band around the cigar…Partagas Habanna, he hadn’t had one of these in awhile even though Nick smoked these regularly.
“I heard that they were alright,” Ethan said in response as he lit the other end of the cigar, “Either way, lets just enjoy the night. It has been a while since we had gone out together, you have just been too busy with work and the way you are making my new assignment sound, I will be busy in the next couple of weeks.”
“You will enjoy this one,” Nick said as he exhaled the smoke, “Chaz is a really down-to-earth kinda guy. You will have a lot in common, mark my words.”
“Can’t wait,” Ethan said, “I hope so after the way you are hyping him up.”
The waiter came up to the table wearing a white tux shirt and neatly pressed black pants. They put their drink orders in and the waiter went on to tell them the night’s special. Grilled beef tenderloin tips cooked in burgundy wine with mushrooms and onions, served on top of rice pilaf with baked garlic potatoes.
“We will have the vodka tonics first,” Nick told the waiter, “Then bring us two of the specials with a bottle of Bordeaux, then some Port after dinner to finish off these cigars.”
“Right away,” the waiter said as he walked to the bar to get the drinks.
The band had taken the stage when the waiter brought the vodka tonics. It was a trio jazz band, one man on drums, one on the bass and another playing lead guitar and vocals.
“So have you gotten any new letters from her?” Nick said taking a sip of his drink, pulling the lime out of the glass and squeezing it over the drink.
“Not since the last time,” Ethan replied, “Didn’t really give her much of a response when I got it.”
“So what is going on between you two?”
“I am really not sure man,” Ethan said twirling the sip straw around the drink, “Honestly I don’t know, I mean we didn’t talk for about two years after the last fight we had, and we weren’t even together then when it happened. Then she met someone new and was engaged to him, then he left her and I have no clue what is going on or what could go on.”
“Sounds like a messed up situation,” Nick said, “Been down that road and not sure what kinda advice I could give you, not that you would listen to me anyways bright eye.”
“Yeah, its one of those things I just got to put up with,” he replied, “Not sure how things would be if we were back together, I don’t feel like going back home, not now anyways, and she has too good of a job there to leave. But that is not even the story…”
“What’s the story then?”
“I would want to be with her,” Ethan said pulling his hands back through his shaggy hair, sipping on the vodka, “But I just don’t wan to be with her if that makes any since. Things are a rollercoaster when we are together, always up and then down again, always making love then picking fights…nothing is ever constant.”
“Nothing in life is ever constant,” Nick said.
“I know,” he replied, “But at the least love should be…not saying that there won’t be hard times and rough times, god knows my parents went through hell and back in their marriage and they are still together, but I just don’t see it going anywhere, not like how it once was.”
“Times change bro, people change…the woman who calls and writes you isn’t the same girl that you once fell in love with,” Nick said taking a puff off his cigar, “Just like your not the love-struck boy who she fell in love with.”
The waiter came with their meal, placed the plates in front of the two men.
“Lets just enjoy the food, the wine and the music and we will talk about her later on.”
Nick agreed and for the next two hours the sat there and ate, drank the Bordeaux and after the meal laid back in their chairs and sipped on some Port wine and finished off the Cuban cigars. Around eleven o’clock Nick asked for the tab and they paid and proceeded to leave to go the Marina. The Marina at this time of year was always packed with tourists and their boats. There was always a party going on at night, sometimes they were just small ones, mainly locals meeting up with the tourists, all partying all night…other times they simply just got out of hand, like the night would get for these two.

~

He continued to lay there on his bed as he stared at the fan blades spinning around and around. Whenever he was stressed out in life he found this to be something to help relax him, to help his nerves unwind. He couldn’t figure out if it was the marijuana in his system or all the alcohol he had consumed in the course of the day, but his heartbeat was finally starting to slow down and the adrenaline was finally beginning to burn out.
He stood up and walked over to the bathroom. As he stood in front of the mirror with his hands resting hard on the sink, he looked into the mirror to see if the one hit he received had left a mark. He rubbed his hand up and down on his right cheek. I hope that pussy gets it back, he said to himself, fucking blindsided me, what a fucking joke. He put the toothpaste on the toothbrush and began to clean out the night from his mouth, all the resin that was left in there mixed with the alcohol always left a bad feeling in the morning if he didn’t kill it now. He had to meet up with Chaz in the morning, meeting a complete stranger that he was supposed to impress and interview and he might have to do it with a bruised cheek, fucking great he thought, really great.
He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out. He washed his face and rubbed his hand on his cheek again, doesn’t look too bad, he grabbed some rubbing alcohol and gently rubbed it on the cheek, hoping that this might sooth it a little bit. He went back into the bedroom and cut the light off and then laid back down on the bed. How it all happened was a blur, he just remembered some drunk running his mouth at Nick and then jumping off the ground and being held back by other people on the dock, and that was it. The incident just went too fast for his memory to catch up with it all, Nick will probably fill him in with the rest of the details later, probably first thing in the morning when he wakes up.
He began to rub his hand up and down his chest gently to help him fall asleep a little bit easier, but his hand couldn’t make up for the lost hand that used to put him to sleep every night. He would lay there in his bed, gently on his back with his arm wrapped around her body, and she would rest her head on his chest, gently moving her fingertips up and down on his stomach. He remembered her touch, no matter how stressed out he was or how angry he was at life, her touch would always slow down his heartbeat and put him to sleep.
The cool air came in off the shore and for the first time tonight he felt completely at ease. He began to think about this new job…what was he going to write about? All he knew was that this guy was heavy into the liquor industry and now he wanted to personally finance the start of an art museum. From what Nick had told him, his personality didn’t fit that of a person who loved art, but maybe there was another reason why Chaz had decided to do it. He decided to quit thinking about it for now and just get some sleep. He knew that he had to meet him sometime tomorrow, but he really wasn’t sure of the time or the place…perhaps Nick would just let him know in the morning. He rolled over and went to sleep, not bothering to set the alarm because he knew in a few short hours Nick would be waking him up.


~

“Shh…baby,” the voice said as he laid there looking up at the ceiling, “Don’t worry about anything, I am here for you.”
He remembered that touch, the soft feel of those fingernails running up and down the hairs on his chest, the feel that would calm his soul in the middle of a war, once again that touch was there.
“What are we doing?” he asked her, “I thought that we agreed not to talk to each other anymore, especially after you got engaged.”
She got up and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for the bottle of wine, she topped off her glass and looked back at him. She took a sip of the red wine as her long, jet black hair hung past her shoulders going down to the middle of her back. He caressed his hand up and down her spine as she took another sip, thinking of the right words to say as he lay there, hoping to make sense of all of this. What seemed like hours went by when finally he took the glass from her hand and finished off what was left in the glass.
“Well?” he asked again, “What are we both doing here right now?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “I…I just don’t know, I mean, I know but I am not sure what in the hell is going on.”
He sat up, reached for the bottle and poured the rest into the glass.
“You know I still love you,” he said as he felt the tannins from the wine dry his mouth, “I never stopped loving you.”
“I know,” she said, “Too bad you couldn’t tell me that years ago, too bad…”
“You knew I loved you,” he replied taking another sip, “I did everything in my power to show you how I felt.”
“Too bad you just couldn’t keep it in your pants,” she said snapping back at him, “That’s a real funny way of showing someone that you love them…really fucking funny way Ethan.”
She was starting the process of crying, turning her head away to look outside of the French doors in her bed room. She started sniffing, and he could see the tears slowly begin to fall. A sense of betrayal had taken over his body, not from her though, but from his own soul. He knew that he had treated her the wrong way, he knew that he had been unfaithful to her, and he knew that he couldn’t promise her again that he wouldn’t be, because he simply knew that she would take him back and back again. It wasn’t the fact of being with another woman, but the game and the flirting with danger that made him do what he had did.
“You know that I am sorry baby,” he said as he cleared his throat, removing the lump that had been in there for years, “You know that somewhere deep inside you still care for me or I wouldn’t be here right now.”
She brushed the hair back from her eyes and grabbed the glass from his hand. She took a long, hard sip of the wine and slammed the glass down on the night-stand, and looked back at him.
“Then why can’t you ever tell me that,” she yelled at him, “Why do you always wait till there is someone in my life to always come back?”
He rolled off the bed and walked towards the French doors. He moved the curtain back a little bit and looked out at the pool. The full moon was being reflected perfectly into the crystal clear water.
“I never told you because after the last affair you told me that he was moving here and that you didn’t want me in your life at all,” he replied as he continued to look at the ripples in the pool, “That was your choice, not mine, you didn’t want to even continue as being friends.”
“Because you would come back and keep coming back,” she yelled, “I love him and I don’t want to fuck it up between us.”
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” he said as he looked back at her, “How many times have we done this behind his back?”
She got up and walked to the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and he looked back to the pool in the backyard. He turned back around and looked down the hallway to the bathroom, why can’t you ever say the right thing, he said to himself, why can’t you just be honest with her? He walked over to the nightstand and grabbed her pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and lit it up. He sat back down on the bed and took a very long drag off the cigarette, he looked up at the smoke as he blew it out, trying hard to think of what to tell her.
She came out of the bathroom with her white nightgown on and her hair in a pony tail, and she said down on the bed next to him.
“We can’t keep playing these games Ethan,” she said as she took the cigarette out of his hand and took a pull, “You know that I am not in love with you anymore, I love him and I can’t leave him.”
“Why not?” he asked as he raised his voice at her, “He doesn’t fucking deserve you…”
“And you do?”
“I am not saying that I do,” he replied, “But he is a goddamn prick, and everyone knows that he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Like a give a shit what everyone thinks,” she said as she took another drag off the cigarette.
He sat there for a minute and looked at her. She didn’t once look him in the eyes when she sat back down, and he knew that she wouldn’t…he knew that she wouldn’t ever love him again.
“Its not completely my fault that it never worked out,” he finally spoke out, “Its not all my fault that it never worked out.”
She now looked him in the eyes with a shocked look in her eyes.
“What in the hell are you talking about now?” she asked him, reaching over his lap to put the cigarette out in the ashtray.
“You never asked me how I felt about you moving,” he said looking down at his hands, they were shaking as they laid in between his knees, “You just told me you were moving, never once asking me how or what I thought about it, you just upped and decided to move after graduation.”
“You knew I wasn’t going to stay in that hick-town forever waiting for you to decide what you were going to do,” she snapped back, “I earned my right to move on, and I thought you wanted to go along for the ride.”
“You just wanted to keep on doing what your mother kept telling you,” he yelled, “She didn’t want me to be a part of your life anyways, always fucking hating me.”
“She just wanted what was best for me,” she said as he stood up off the bed again, she was watching him walk around the room, pacing like a madman, “That is all that she wanted, she didn’t think you could provide for me because you were always leaving school, always changing your mind on what you wanted, and she just wanted a little more stability.”
“And this guy is going to provide all of this for you?” he asked her.
“I hope so, but it cannot continue between us, you have to understand that,” she said looking at him, for the first time tonight their eyes finally met, “I just don’t love you anymore, I…just don’t love you and will never love you again.”
He jumped out and sat there sitting up in the bed. Sweat was beating down his forehead and his blankets were completely drenched with moisture, another fucking dream he said to himself, just another dream about her. He laid down in what felt like a pool of betrayal and guilt. His hair was soaked and he wiped the sweat off of his forehead with his forearm, his heart was beating fast and even though he couldn’t remember everything that had happened, he was finally starting to realize just how much he missed her.
He could try to lie to himself and his friends, but the truth was that he wasn’t happy with her not being in his life. He laid there watching the fan blades cut the hot air and he just wished that he could have her back in his life for just one more minute, but at the very least he just hoped she was happy with her life and that he was treating her the way that he couldn’t, and giving her the love that he said he had, but wasn’t really there in his heart.


~


“Hey man, bright eyes wake up,” the voice was saying to him, “Shower up, we gotta go in a few hours.”
He looked up to see Nick taking his hand off of his shoulder.
“What time is it?” he asked as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.
“Almost ten,” Nick replied, “We gotta be in the office in a few hours, take your time and I will get us some lunch on the way to town,”
“What the fuck happened last night?” he asked getting out the bed and putting a tee-shirt on, “What happened between you and that one dude.”
“You know what happened,” Nick said with a little bit of anger in his voice, “That dude hooked up with Marisa after me and her split, every time he sees me out, he always wants to run his mouth about fucking her and whatever else they did, I can’t take it anymore, one day I am going to kill him. Goddammit man, I really hate that man.”
“Well next time you decide to fight him,” Ethan said walking to the bathroom door, “Make sure that I am not completely drunk and don’t get fucking blindsided by his boy, cause if it happens again then I am going to kill him too.”
“My bad mate,” Nick said, “It will come back around again, don’t worry about that.”
That is what I am worrying about, he said to himself as he checked his face out in the mirror. The bruise was barely showing, the guy didn’t hit him as hard as he thought, he rubbed his finger around the tender cheek, it was still sore but not as bad as he thought it was going to be. He opened a back of Goody’s powdered aspirin and placed the powder on the back of his tongue and chugged a glass of water down. He could still taste the alcohol in his system, the alcohol wasn’t killing him this morning, but all that he had smoked from last night was really bothering him, he probably wouldn’t even smoke today because his lungs felt like two iron tanks in his chest.
He cut the water on and took a long shower, feeling the hot steam help him recover a little bit faster. What he could really use today was a massage, he would probably get one later on in the day, and he knew exactly where to go for that. He got out of the shower and dried off, putting on a pair of boxers and his socks, grabbing a pair of khakis and polo shirt to put on. He slid his sandals on his feet and walked outside to where Nick was sitting, waiting for him.
“My bad ‘bout last night buddy,” Nick said smoking a cigarette, “I shouldn’t drag you into my problems.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied as he sat down on a chair next to Nicks, “That’s what I am here for, that’s what friends are for…who knows maybe one day you will return the favor for me.”
“Want a smoke?” Nick asked sliding the pack across the table to him.
“God no,” he said shaking his head, “Smoked way too much last night…fucking cigar, cigarettes and then all that weed, I am not going to smoke for a few days man.”
Nick reached over and grabbed the pack away from Ethan. He put them in his pocket and looked out to the ocean.
“Man, you lucked up finding this place,” he said throwing the cigarette down on the deck and putting it out with his foot, “Such a pretty view, no I know why you never get shit done on time.”
“Yeah, its very relaxing out here,” he said looking out to where Nick was looking, “Never really get any of the heavy beach traffic out here, its almost like my own private beach.”
“Are the beaches like this back home?”
“Not where I am from,” he replied, “They are all over-ran with tourists from up North and too many locals for anyone to really have any fun. If you have a house down there then its ok, but just trying to go in for the night or the weekend really fucking sucks, putting up with all of that traffic.”
“I hear ya, this was my first ocean experience…guess maybe that is why I stayed along for the ride,” Nick said, eyes still fixed out to the endless horizon, “This shit will grow on ya, bright eyes, I promise you that…this shit will grow on you if you aren’t careful.”
He really didn’t have any idea what Nick was talking about, but decided it would be best if he just let him talk and not ask any questions.
“Hey man,” Ethan said to Nick.
“What’s up bra?” Nick asked back finally taking his eyes off the ocean.
“On second hand…I think I will take one of those smokes.”
“Ha,” Nick said smiling back in return, “That’s the Callahan that I love.”
He handed Ethan the pack of cigarettes and the two of them headed for Nick’s Saab. They hopped in and pulled the top down so the sun could help out a little bit to clear their pale complexions.
“So what in the fuck do you know about this cat?” Ethan asked as Nick backed out of the white-stoned driveway.
“Nothing really bra,” Nick replied, “Nothing more than him being a dude with a shit load of money…that’s all. Oh yeah, and he wants to turn his money into an art museum…other than that, jack shit.”
Nick headed on the street for the city. The day was beautiful and the sun was beating down on the two ghosts who were driving, not sure really what they were getting into with this assignment, just knowing that they had to do it. He looked over at Nick as he rubbed his cheek some more hoping that the swelling would go down some more as the day progressed. He flicked the butt of the cigarette out the window and laughed as images from last night raced through his head and thought that he left all of that bullshit back in the states, but deep inside it really made him a little more nostalgic because it was the same things that he and his friends did almost every weekend back home.


~


They had just pulled up to the marina when the sounds from the party hit the air where they were sitting.
“Sounds pretty intense,” Ethan said looking over at Nick.
“Sounds pretty fucking great to me,” Nick replied, looking back over at Ethan, “Not getting soft on me now Callahan?”
“Please,” he said back, “I can go all night and all morning, you know that. Besides this is up to you, its your story I am doing tomorrow…the worse I feel the worse I will be, you just keep that in mind.”
“I will write you a doctor’s note tomorrow if it goes too long tonight,” Nick said laughing, “Now lets go.”
They stepped out of the Bronco. It was the second night in a row that he had been here. Last night didn’t compare to what was going on right now. Last night there were just a few people out here, drinking beers and telling stories, now it seemed like Hell’s door had swung open and all the deviants ran out. He would have to keep an eye out on Nick tonight, he never seemed to do well in these type environments…well he did at first and the more he drank the worse he got.